I'm sitting in bed listening to Silent Night right now. I have four days until finals start, one week until I'll be on the road home, two weeks until Christmas. What little motivation has dragged me through the last three and a half months has dissipated since Thanksgiving break; I'm basically begging the exhaust fumes of my brain to propel me through the paper writing, preparation, and test taking of the next seven days.
That paragraph is essentially a summation of what Fall 2014 has done to me, my roommates, and seemingly every TCU student that I've talked to. It's been a drag, a "long, hard slog," to quote Kiss Me, Kate. The First Noel is playing now, and I feel like I should be uplifted. It's hard to truly enjoy the optimistic power of Christmas music, though, when I know I'll have to be "enjoying" studying for my math final soon.
I don't want to seem like a downer; I've loved this semester. I've developed some new friendships and strengthened old ones. I've changed my major and infused new life into my future. I have found a place to live for the next two years with three wonderful people. I've had the blessing of following TCU football every step of the way to an 11-1 record (we should have made the playoff, but that's a completely different story). I got to see one of my favorite bands in concert for the fourth time and realized that I will never get enough of them live. I was able to visit Disney World with my parents and my sister, something that I know will not be happening too much more as my sister and I both continue to grow up. I've had relaxing and rejuvenating trips home at Fall and Thanksgiving breaks. I have so much to be thankful for.
The actual school part of school seems to be what's brought me, and everyone else, down. Again, don't get me wrong: I've enjoyed class. I've liked going to my classes and learning about a wide variety of topics, from British Literature to 1800 to Intro to Programming, from Intro to Literary Theory to Differential Equations, and, of course, Literature and Civilizations II. I'm just looking forward to classes being done and getting a break and a fresh start in the spring. Something about this semester has been, for lack of a better word, difficult. More than once have I felt bogged down by work. More than once have I considered skipping class, not because I just didn't want to go, but in order to get work done for some other class. More than once have I considered dropping out (okay, not really, but how many times do college students utter the phrase, "That's it, I'm dropping out" in a semester? 10? 20? I'll get back to my point now).
My grades aren't where I want them to be, but I know I'm not the only one that feels that way. My mind is fried, but I know I'm not the only one that feels that way, too. I guess that's one of the best parts of college: no matter how unmotivated, drained, and stressed you're feeling, you know at least 50% of the people around you feel exactly the same way.
Ave Maria is playing now. I could probably use a prayer at the moment. I can't quite tell if the Christmas music is helping me or making me think too much of next weekend. I'm going to say both.
This will be my last blog for Literature and Civilizations II. It's been a great and wonderfully unique class that I will certainly never forget. I've had fun in the classroom, out of the classroom (on the river, in the Water Gardens, at the Amon Carter Museum, working on group projects), and on my blog. I hope everyone else in class, and everyone who will take the class at some point, enjoys it as much as I did.
I feel like this blog is a little disjointed, but that's just indicative of my current mental state. Have I mentioned that it's almost Christmas? Merry Christmas everybody, and Happy New Year. God bless. Thank you for a tumultuously awesome semester.
(We Need A Little Christmas started playing just before I clicked the "publish" button. Spotify understands me.)
Amen.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I second that amen.
ReplyDeleteI've also had quite a draining semester, and pretty much for all the same reasons as you stated. I've had an amazing time outside of classes, with strengthening friendships and starting new ones, going on adventures off campus and out of state, and exploring more of the things that I love and want to make my career. The unfortunate part is that no matter what I want to do eventually, I have to get through the classes I'm in now. It's very difficult for me to reconcile taking organic chemistry with my future career plans- when will I ever need to know the million mechanisms and reagents that I'm being forced to memorize when I am working as a veterinarian? Probably never, which really puts a damper on my motivation. But I also know that there has to be SOME purpose to the hellish class, even if I can't see it right now. Maybe it's just to make the rest of the trials of my academic life seem easier, because I have a very hard time believing anything else in the rest of my schooling could be as bad as this. But I digress on that point.
As we wind down the semester and look to the next one, I hope that we all continue to remember why we are here, and that education is one of the greatest ways to spend time. At least I hope we can fool ourselves into that long enough to get through the seemingly insurmountable sophomore hell.
Zach! I'm glad you enjoyed this class man. It's been a blast sitting behind you. I enjoyed talking sports with you. I ended up writing both of my final essays about sports. I hope our professor enjoys it.
ReplyDeleteBut this was a good blog. I think you are a great writing. I guess you have to be, Mr. English Major
Many of the things you mentioned in this blog I have felt as well. The semester has been draining and a roller coaster of ups and downs, but I do think we have learned and grown this semester. Specifically in Literature and Civilization II, I think the reflective learning has enhanced my learning experience in other classes as well.
ReplyDeleteI did not realize you changed majors this semester. Best of luck on finals and rest assured you are not alone in the struggle of studying. It’s been great to be in class with you this semester.
I think the majority of our class can relate to this blog in at least some way. This semester has been draining and I am looking forward to see what the new semester can bring. Like you mentioned, its not that there weren't many fun times these last few months, but when December hits it is so hard to not get completely overwhelmed with final grades. Its also easy to forget that almost everyone is in the same boat. We're almost done with this LONG semester and I wish you the best of luck with your new major and hope you can find some time after finals to relax.
ReplyDelete